Reasonable Rhymes

Hit and Misanthropist

When I drive the car

I say: 'Damn pedestrians!',

'Damn cyclists!'

I snare unsuspecting women

on my door-catches.

I drown infants

in an "accidental" surge of muddy water.

When I ride a bike

I curse motorists and pedestrians;

I sneak round corners

And sound my bell,

Prior to crushing a passing foot;

I zig-zag through traffic

to demonstrate my superiority.

When I walk

I cross the zebra many times

To foul the traffic to the square;

I dangle walking sticks in turning spokes;

I step out into cycle paths

Retreating as a rider meets a post.

But most of all I hate policemen.